What is the true center of this piece?
What does she mean by “The Other?”
Do you agree with her assertions here?
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I really thought this put a great perspective on the relationship between men and women, and how society shaped the minds of even kids to see the differences between them. I think that the center could be not the divide itself, but overcoming the divide. Trying to overcome society's restraints and prejudices to come to the point where men and women can be treated equally. I think one of the points of this piece is to point out how much we get in our own way. How much in our effort to not be the "other" we create an "other" of the opposite group... if that makes sense. The other is the inferior group. The group that causes problems, the outside of the norm group. The other always seems to be the opposite sex, at least to the individual. To women, men can be brutish, unrefined and just lack compassion. And to men, women can seem emotional, impractical and spastic. It kind of relates to the book men are waffles and women are spaghetti. Which shows the different thinking methods of men and women. But again, society generates the majority of the differences, which creates "the other" mentality. I agree with the majority of her assertions, but I'm sure once tested, some of them could be more flimsy points due to her emotional relation to the piece. Which reminds us that it's not a scientific piece, but simply a personal analysis of a situation.
ReplyDeleteOkay Emma I am in awe. How much is the difference exaggerated? I agree the center really is overcoming the divide or at least enjoying it.
ReplyDeleteThe true center of this piece for me is just learning to face facts. Women are women. Men are men. We are obviously made two different ways, for obvious reasons. The author shows the differences matter of factly in "Mom. Weird. Women." and "Husband. Strange. Men." Yeah, men and women get frustrated with each other, it's normal; its supposed to happen. However, the author does say it would be great if people could just "mingle freely,...person to person." Although knowing the facts and both sides of both sexes, it would be nice for people to put sex aside, and just interact as PEOPLE. Not WOMEN and MEN. The labels do divide, and give each sex a reason to not try to understand the other.
ReplyDeleteIt has to be very interesting from a mother's perspective to see two young children, of opposite sexes interacting- she can see in the proverbial crystal ball.
I feel as though this piece is extremely shaded compared to our last piece "Letter to President Pierce" in the fact that personal elusion is almost necessary in order to begin to embrace this piece. The essay was written from a female's point of view which was apparent to me from the start besides the fact the author has "a girl's name." This piece seems to be asking the question of why. Why is there a natural barrier between genders? What tensions form at such a young age? The ability to hurdle these barriers come easier and harder for some and at different times in an individual's life. Due to a lack of words; a philosopher may almost find this piece prude and offensive which then again brings up the question of why? A former english teacher once gave me a lecture on why are there "bad" or "inappropriate" words which are largely forbidden from our daily lexicons. This I believe almost directly correlates to how this piece discusses the great divide between men and women or women and men. Most people say "maturity" is the major factor, I find this as an excuse for avoiding discussing what is really going on in the minds of people. Everything that is judged is simply an insignificant point of view. I found this piece to serve the function of bridging intellectual concepts using situational elusion.
ReplyDeleteI believe that "Between the Sexes, a Great Divide" does not deplore the divide itself but perhaps the fact that humans, who try to understand and perfect everything about their world, won't just accept it for what it is. The author does this both intentionally and unintentionally based on my view of the piece. Even though the author herself would "love it" if men and women were not considered separately but all as members of one giant, happy human race, she knows this will never happen. She throws out weak wishes of the day it will happen while knowing in the back of her mind that this will not ever happen unless the human race is entirely revitalized. Of course she doesn't come out and say it, but she contradicts this wish by her own actions growing up, as an adult, and depicting her own son's actions. At times she even relishes in the fact that she can say "Husband.Strange.Men" when talking to another women. I think that she wants the best of both worlds while hiding behind the popular belief that the difference between the sexes is totally perplexing and annoying even.
ReplyDeleteI love her statement on page 255, "Yet isn't it odd that I feel that the prejudice is somehow easier to deal with than the simple difference? Prejudice is evil and can be fought, while difference simply is." The author and many women like her struggle with the fact that no matter how much progress is in the name of feminism women still do not feel equal to men in many ways. I believe that many feminists push for reforms in even the most "nit-picky" areas intending to fix this problem without facing the real issue-men and women are different. However, the author points to the fact that many could agree with that it is not paralyzing-page 256 "I must never forget, I suppose, that even in the gym, with all that space between us, we still managed to pick partners and dance". Fundamentally, both men and women need to put on their big kid pants, accept the unchanging differences that no amount of reform can touch and live with each other. "Cause you can't live with em and you can't live without em"...
I liked this essay because it includes a very unique topic, a topic that an author would normally try to avoid. When bringing up the issue of men and women, a piece often turns into another debate, but Anna Quindlen did a great job of avoiding this.
ReplyDeleteThe center of this essay is dealing with the divide (differences) between men and women and whether or not it will ever be removed. I think that is Quindlen's essential question of her piece because she says, "...we could mingle freely, girl and boy, boy and girl...and maybe that's going to happen sometime in my lifetime, but I can't say I know when."
When Quinlen addresses "the Other" she is talking about the way men view women, and concurrently, women view men. They each have this mindset that the opposite sex is vastly different from their own, although they only view the opposite sex as being the reason for this difference.
I don't agree with all of the assertions that Quinlen makes and I believe that they are based more on the basis of her personal experiences, which of course creates a bias on the issue. The assertion that I do agree with though is the simple fact that there is a "divide" between the sexes. But as far as her deep analysis as to why this divide exists, I feel that her support may not reflect society as a whole.
I think that the center of this piece was trying to overcome the "divide" between guys and girls and overcoming these differences so that they can enjoy being together. When she says "The Other" she is referring to the way men see woman and the way woman see men. They are different to each other and that is why she refers to them as the other. At one point in the piece she addresses how it is almost like the opposite sex is a different species. I agree with some of the things in here. Because it is obvious that there is a great divide between the sexes. But I wouldnt agree with everything because it is all one persons opinion on the topic.
ReplyDeletewow are we going to have a lot to talk about. I will be interested in exploring the points of view, especially those of you who don't agree with some of the things she said. Really interesting folks...
ReplyDeleteI think the center of this piece is the division between men and women and how it is viewed by others. I believe that there is a great divide between the two sexes and that men and women are completely different from each other. I believe that both sexes are different from the inside and out. Boys are so much more emotional and strange. They can be so happy one minute and the next its like the worst thing just happened to them. The emotional aspects of men is so much stronger than that of women. I know many may not agree with that but from personal experience with a guy that i dated for awhile and from talking and hanging out with guys in our class I can support this arguement. There is such a great divide . I can sit there and listen to them and they mostly talk about sports and girls, and that is about it. Girls talk about so much more than that. I think by the Other she means how women view men and vice versa how men view women. I really liked the part in the essay where the one girl moves to the other side of the dance floor and then the other girls develop a certain opinion about that one girl. because this is so true girls do gossip a lot and talk about other people behind their backs, but half of the time we don't even know we are doing it. Men on the other hand do it to but they just don't admit that they do it . Girls have many views on men: some may be loving and caring and others may be very god damn nasty and cruel. You can only experience this if you cross over to the other side of the dance floor and be welcomed into their world, their sancuary. You will never be the same . I agree with some of the authors opinions but others i do not. It just comes down to your point of view and how you relate to the topic at hand . I love Christyn 's last sentence of her blog because it is absoulutely true and just about sums up everything I said.
ReplyDeleteI believe the center of this piece is the social differences between men and women. This barrier has been there for a long time and continues to be there. People can not reason this barrier between men and women it just continues to make itself present. At a younger age children do not have a complete understanding of the opposite sex. The Other is referring to how men refer to women and women refer to men. Different people can have very different views and opinions on this divide between male and female so it can be taken many different ways.
ReplyDeleteI like the way the situation is handled, and I think it comes down to style when referring to the "battle of the sexes." One can treat it like a battle, or one can attempt to understand despite the gap that there can be in understanding. I like the way she phrased "Prejudice is evil and can be fought, while difference just is." I think it really explores the true problem in the situation, that differences breed prejudice when they don't need to, simple because of diversity. I think, however, in attempting to bridge this divide, a person needs to realize a few things: that there will always be a difference, and that differences do not have to cause problems. I think that if people can understand those points, they will be one step closer to piece between genders. Unfortunately, all too often the genders are stereotyped by each other: that guys only care about hot women and sports, and that women are emotionally driven people with minefield personalities. If the genders can stop attributing majority traits to the rest of the sex as a whole, there can be a chance for understanding yet.
ReplyDeleteI like how a few people have brought up the statement "Prejudice is evil and can be fought, while difference just is." It is easier to hide behind your own prejudices, than actually recognizing the differences. Men and women can both try to stray from how they are naturally "wired", to try to understand and deal with the other more, but the differences can never be erased. Men will never fully think like women, and a woman will never think like a man. A woman can take a man's past actions- in responding to certain things- to try to make accurate guesses as to how they think...but they naturally cannot have the same thought process.
ReplyDeleteAnd i agree with Jon in that some people need to stop catagorizing a whole sex...
Personalities differ from person to person, everyone of the same sex does not think the same way believe it or not.
Okay this is the best you guys have done at this...I can't wait to hear the others. It will also be interesting to compare our views as we are separated by almost 40 years (and not to brag...I am a veteran of 56 years of dealing with women.) I am in awe of some of the wisdom here...Sam I think you are dead on right...and I am again in awe...did I say I was in awe...
ReplyDeleteThe center of the piece was about overcoming the differences that are formed by the two sexes. The author uses the metaphor of a dance at which girls are to one side and guys to the other. I think that this is a pretty good description, but a little flawed in that I don't think that there is this gaping canyon between the two sexes as the author implies. Of course, this essay was written in 1988, so the differences could have been a lot more prevalent then they are. I think that this kind of shows how we as a society are maturing when it comes to differences between men and women. When it comes to the "other" it kind of shows the author's ideas of men. She seems to imply that they are of a different species than woman, and I think that Emma said it best when she was decribing the majority/minority thing when it came to forming points of view about the other sex. I really don't agree with these assertions. To me, it almost seemed like sophisticated rambling. The author tries to make good points, but I really didn't see any supporting ideas for those points. However, seeing as I didn't live in the eighties, I really don't know how her ideas would have held up in those times. They might have been true then, but I think that her points have degraded with time.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jon that this piece can be viewed as a "battle of the sexes" even though that is not the main point of the piece.
ReplyDeleteI like how sam analyzes the thoughts that men and women have about the opposite sex, and says that they are merely guesses.
I agree with Travis that her personal reasons as to why the divide exists might not reflect society as a whole. Everyone has their own personal experiences that are going to make their feelings on the opposite sex differ. So each person will probably have their own opinion as to why the divide exists.
ReplyDeleteI really liked Emma's comments on how much we all "get in our own way" when it comes to this topic and how the author's arguments could become "flimsy" once you consider her emotional attachment to the subject. There is no way she could be abstract and disconnected no matter how much she would try. I also like the point Jon and Sam highlighted that each gender unfairly stereotypes the other. It is so true and to resolve some of this both men and women need to see the difference in individuals not the whole group. Just because some guys can be "egotistical-jocks" and some women "emotional control freaks" doesn't mean all of them are. I think our society only enhances the stereotypes through media like television...just a thought.
ReplyDelete